by Telling someone you love that something hurts you is never easy.
But the way you say it can turn a problem into a moment of deeper understanding.
- Start with Calm, Not Accusation
Don’t jump in with
“Why did you do that?”
It immediately builds a wall.
Start gently instead:
“Can I tell you something that’s been on my mind?”
She’ll hear you instead of defending herself.
- Talk About Your Feelings, Not Her Mistakes
Replace
“You always…”
with
“I feel…”
People don’t argue with your feelings; they argue with blame.
- Keep Your Tone Soft, Even If the Topic Isn’t
Sometimes the tone hurts more than the words.
Speak like you’re trying to fix the problem — not like you’re trying to win.
- Be Specific, Not Dramatic
Don’t say
“You never care about me.”
Say
“When you did _, it made me feel ignored.”
Clarity solves more issues than shouting.
- Show Her You’re Not Against Her
A relationship isn’t “you vs me.”
It’s both of you vs the problem.
Say things like:
“I want us to understand each other better.”
It tells her you’re speaking out of love, not anger.
- End With Reassurance
After you explain how you feel, remind her:
“I’m telling you this because I care about us.”
People listen differently when they know your intention is love.
- Ask for Her Side Too
Let her share how she sees it.
Sometimes the solution is hidden in her perspective.
Understanding each other is the real win — not being right.
